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Create a Family Legacy of Well-being

You don't have to allow toxic social norms or generational trauma to impact you and your family.

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Create a Legacy of Well-being for Your Family: Learn the Most Effective Strategies to Break Toxic Social Norms and Heal Generational Trauma

As current or soon-to-be parents, our greatest hope is to cultivate a nurturing environment where our children can thrive. We envision their futures filled with happiness, health, and success. Yet, in our pursuit to offer them the best, we may overlook one aspect - the legacy of toxic social norms and generational trauma that we, knowingly or unknowingly, pass on. Recognizing and understanding our own ties to these patterns is the first step toward healing and breaking the cycle. By fostering a spirit of self-awareness, education, and growth, we can set the path for our children to lead lives free from the shadows of our inherited societal and familial traumas.

Hi! I'm Brittney-Nichole

Boy Mom | 05.02.24

Trauma Overcomer

GT and Emotional Intelligence Coach

Support Group Leader

Author of The EQ Deficiency

Podcast Host

Founder of Emotional Intelligence Magazine 

  • How can I break the chain of generational trauma in my family?
    The journey to healing generational trauma starts with knowledge, acceptance, and deliberate action. Numerous paths exist to facilitate your healing process. As a dedicated coach, I've curated a variety of tools that will guide you through your journey of healing. Coaching can help in recognizing patterns, establishing goals, and providing strategies to break the cycle of generational trauma. Our support group provides a comforting environment, filled with individuals sharing similar experiences, while our self-paced courses are carefully crafted to equip you with the knowledge and methods needed to heal from various aspects of generational trauma, all on your own terms. Additionally, we offer free resources across our blog posts and educational short videos. However, if the symptoms of trauma are intense, seeking professional mental health services should be your primary step. Our offerings are meant to accompany, not replace, professional care.
  • Can generational trauma be passed down?
    Yes, generational trauma can indeed be passed down. Scientific research has revealed that the effects of trauma can be transferred from one generation to the next through complex and multifaceted mechanisms, including genetic, psychological, and social pathways. However, the cycle can be broken. With understanding, awareness, and appropriate support, parents and expecting parents can learn strategies to heal from past traumas, preventing their transmission to future generations. Through resources and services, I hope to help educate, inspire, and guide you on this transformative journey of healing and growth.
  • How do social norms shape my child's development and identity?
    Social norms significantly influence children’s development and identity by setting implicit expectations for behavior within their community. From an early age, children observe and imitate the actions of those around them, internalizing these norms as a template for how to act in various situations. This mimicry includes language use, etiquette, and even the development of values that help establish a sense of belonging and self. Moreover, as children grow, peer interactions become a powerful force, with peer approval or disapproval further molding their sense of identity and self-esteem. It's crucial for parents to encourage children to question norms constructively and to provide a supportive space to develop their individuality amidst these social influences. How can the adoption of social norms be dangerous to our child's well-being and identity? The pervasive influence of social norms can sometimes be detrimental to a child's well-being, particularly when these norms are rigid or exclusionary. Children who struggle to conform to prevailing expectations may experience anxiety, low self-esteem, and even depression. This can be exacerbated by peer pressure, bullying, and the intense scrutiny of social media. Psychologically, a child's continual attempt to reconcile their authentic self with external expectations might lead to internal conflict and identity confusion, creating a cycle of mental health challenges. Therefore, it is essential as parents that we be vigilant, foster open communication, and guide our children towards resilience and self-acceptance, helping to break the potential cycle of mental health issues rooted in conforming to limiting social norms.
  • What are social norms and how do they affect parenting?
    Social norms silently dictate many aspects of family life and child-rearing. These unspoken rules—ranging from behavioral and value expectations of your children to the influence of pop culture—can profoundly influence your parenting style, often without conscious awareness. It's essential to recognize that while some norms provide a sense of order and shared understanding, others may pressure you into making decisions that don't necessarily align with your family's values or your child's unique needs. Acknowledging these norms is the first step in deciding which ones serve your family's interests and which may be worth challenging for the sake of your and your child's well-being.
  • How can I identify signs of toxic parenting?
    Toxic parenting can often be identified by spotting certain behavioral patterns that involve control, manipulation, emotional neglect, or abuse. These behaviors can include: Overly critical comments towards children Disrespect for personal boundaries Blaming children for issues that are parental in nature Children being made to feel responsible for their parent's emotional state Inconsistent or unpredictable behaviors leading to a sense of insecurity and instability in children Recognizing these signs forms the initial step in the larger journey towards healing generational trauma, and it isn't easy. It's an incredibly courageous act, so be gentle and kind to yourself. You might feel the urge to blame yourself, but remember this: it's about understanding, not punishing. You're here, you're acknowledging these behaviors, and that's a huge leap towards change and healing. And the best part? It's never too late to alter your actions and break free from the chains of generational trauma. Imagine that--you're making the world a better place for your children's future.
  • How can my generational trauma impact my children?
    The legacy of generational trauma can significantly impact children, subtly influencing their behaviors, mental health, and overall well-being. Symptoms may take the form of various mental health conditions, including: Depression Anxiety disorders Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Behavioral implications can range from: Aggression or withdrawal Relationship challenges Diminished self-esteem A potential inclination towards substance abuse as they grow older. However, it's vital to underscore that early intervention and the provision of a loving and supportive environment can substantially offset these potential effects, empowering children to lead enriching and healthy lives, regardless of generational trauma's lingering effects.
  • What are some examples of toxic social norms that may affect my child?
    Peer Pressure to Conform: This can lead children to partake in activities or adopt behaviors that go against their personal values or interests, potentially stunting their individuality and self-expression. Bullying Based on Stereotypes: Young children who do not fit certain societal molds may face ridicule, teaching them that difference is negative and may result in a loss of self-esteem and increased anxiety. Overemphasis on Physical Appearance: Valuing physical appearance above other qualities can lead to body image issues and eating disorders in young children, impacting their health and self-worth. Constant Connectivity and Social Media Presence: Pressure to maintain an active social media persona may disrupt a child's ability to engage in present, in-person experiences and form genuine relationships. Overconsumption and Materialism: In a society where material possessions are highly valued, children are often encouraged to measure success by what they own rather than who they are. This can lead to a culture of overconsumption, where the quest for the latest gadgets and trends overshadows the development of non-materialistic values and sustainable living habits. Influence of Social Media Personalities: Many children look up to influencers, who often promote a life of glamor that may not be realistic or attainable. This emulation can curb introspection and self-discovery, as children may prioritize external validation over cultivating their unique identity and personal growth. Cancel Culture or Victim Mentality: The advent of a culture that emphasizes not causing offense and the quick resort to 'cancel culture' can unwittingly nurture a sense of victimhood among children. They may come to believe that they are entitled to a life devoid of criticism or discomfort, which inevitably leads to a belief that they are powerless when faced with the responsibility of managing their own emotions. This self-victimization not only dilutes personal accountability but also leaves them ill-equipped to navigate the complexities of diverse opinions and setbacks in life.
  • Can I heal my trauma on my own?
    Yes, self-healing from trauma is doable. Self-help resources such as podcasts, books, and articles can initiate your journey toward self-awareness and education on healing practices. I managed to overcome my trauma without the guidance of a coach or therapist. However, this was no easy feat – it was a laborious journey that stretched over a decade. It felt like I was navigating through darkness armed with only a flashlight. I felt crazy and hopeless at times, lost, lonely, and overwhelmed throughout most of the process. It was only in the last 2-years of healing that I felt I had a sense of understanding and control. But that is my journey. Everyone is different.
  • What is emotional trauma?
    Emotional distress is a psychological response that adversely influences our overall wellness or self-worth. It can range from minor incidents, such as being scolded in childhood, leading to a reluctance to assert ourselves, to more profound experiences of psychological abuse that can result in severe mental conditions, including dissociative disorder, among others.
  • Where does generational trauma come from?
    Generational trauma originates from distressing events experienced by previous generations, which can then impact the mental, emotional, and even physical well-being of us, our offspring, and our descendants if not healed. It can be passed down through various avenues, including learned behaviors, shared narratives, and even changes in genetic expression. This type of trauma is often associated with large-scale societal issues such as war, oppression, and poverty, but it can also be traced back to individual family histories of abuse, addiction, or mental health disorders. The effects are profound and far-reaching, but understanding its origins is the first step towards healing and breaking the cycle.
  • How do I know if I need a coach vs. a therapist?
    Traditional therapy and coaching share common ground, with both aiming to improve emotional well-being. As a coach, my focus is on the present and future, though addressing generational trauma does require understanding past experiences. Unlike therapists, who delve deep into past traumas, my approach is less about diagnosing and managing severe symptoms such as self-harm, substance abuse, or extreme depression and anxiety and more about navigating current realities and fostering a healthier future. Here are some easy ways to assess if a coach or therapist is the best next step for you:
  • Is emotional trauma different from generational trauma?
    Generational trauma and emotional trauma are intricately interwoven, yet they are not mutually inclusive. Generational trauma specifically refers to the transference of damaging experiences and associated emotional responses from one generation to subsequent ones. This cyclical transmission through familial lines can significantly influence an individual's emotional health. In essence, all generational trauma inevitably manifests as emotional trauma, as the inherited distressing experiences trigger emotional responses in the recipients. However, it's crucial to note that not all emotional trauma stems from generational trauma. Emotional trauma can also originate from a person's individual experiences independent of their generational history. Therefore, while all generational trauma leads to emotional trauma, emotional trauma itself is not always a byproduct of generational trauma.
  • What can I expect out of life once I heal my trauma?
    The benefits of healing generational trauma are limitless. Here are just a handful of benefits you will reap from the process: Past Triggers No Longer Affect You: Imagine having little or no physiological or emotional response to someone saying or doing something that would have normally caused you to react or withdraw within yourself. When you heal, you become empowered to create your own life story, free from the possibly detrimental emotional atmosphere of the outside world. Breaking the Cycle for Generations to Come: Your decision to heal positively impacts the future of your family and those around you. By making this choice, you are creating a healthier and happier legacy for your loved ones to inherit, and setting an inspiring example for others to follow. This powerful act of love and strength touches everyone who interacts with you. Freedom to Thrive: You will no longer be weighed down by the past and the false narratives it led you to generate about your potential, opening up opportunities for growth, happiness, and success in all aspects of life. Improved Relationships and Communication: Imagine being able to address challenging topics without feeling a knot in your stomach or as if your heart were about to fly out of your chest, that you are unscathed by the reactions of others to your boundaries, and you could speak from a place of compassion and detachment to outcome. How transformative could that be for your interactions with others? Now, envision maintaining deep, meaningful connections with those you cherish, unmarred by the dread of a disagreement tearing down the relationship like a house of cards, where problems are immediately and empathetically addressed instead of being swept under the rug or fueled by assumptions and rage. Inner Peace: You know that feeling of not having a care in the world? You may have felt it on vacation, on an outing with a friend, as you are getting a massage... What if you woke up with an inherent peace and tranquility, eager to greet the day with whatever is to come? This is the state of being you can experience when you are no longer attached to your past trauma. Greater Resilience: Healing trauma doesn't make life easier, but it does make us stronger and more resilient to what it throws our way. Instead of saying, "Why me?" you'll likely find yourself saying, "How will I choose to overcome this challenge, and what can I learn from it." Instead of seeing unmovable mountains, you might look at life's challenges as pesky hurdles to overcome or master. Enhanced Self-Esteem and Self-Worth: Radically alter your self-perception and outlook on life. With increased self-esteem, you're more likely to acknowledge your abilities and accept your flaws, as opportunities for continued self-discovery. Challenges become growth opportunities, not obstacles. As your self-worth escalates, you realize your value isn't bound by external validation or achievements, leading to healthier relationships where your needs are asserted more effectively. Unconditional Self-Love: One of the potent outcomes of healing generational trauma is the cultivation of unconditional self-love. This profound form of self-love transcends mere superficial admiration or egoistic pride. It is an intimate journey of self-discovery and acceptance where you learn to acknowledge and truly cherish your unique essence. This transformative self-love is a sanctuary, a place of solace, where you can retreat to rejuvenate and nurture your being. It's about learning to appreciate your strengths and accept your vulnerabilities, fostering a harmonious relationship with oneself. Personal Growth: The process of healing is a continuous and never-ending journey. However, once you address the trauma, personal growth becomes an exciting adventure, filled with curiosity and excitement-driven introspection that enables you to develop essential skills such as emotional regulation, empathy, and self-awareness. Empowerment—No More Desire to Prove Yourself: Taking control of your narrative fosters empowerment, freeing you from the need for external validation. Realizing that your worth is not dependent on others' judgments, but on your self-belief and love, is liberating. It permits you to express your identity without fear of criticism, resulting in a profound sense of freedom, self-confidence, and inner strength.
  • How long does it take to heal generational trauma?
    The journey to healing is deeply personal and hinges considerably on the coachee's willingness to invest in their self-improvement. It demands a commitment to confront deeply ingrained habits, feelings, and beliefs, which may be challenging and uncomfortable. Rest assured, I have the tools to help you overcome your trauma as quickly as you are ready and able. A highly committed individual can expect to see substantial and lasting progress within six months to a year, reaching a point where my aid becomes less essential. However, the beauty of this journey is the immediate impact. Within our initial week of collaboration, and with your earnest commitment, you'll experience tangible wins, "AH-HA" moments, and a noticeable shift in your mindset.
  • Is healing trauma painful?
    Overcoming emotional trauma, similar to mending a physical injury, can be challenging, uncomfortable, and, for some, painful. The path to healing requires acknowledging emotions we might have preferred to ignore or avoid. However, let's view this discomfort as a stepping stone towards healing, not an impediment. By bravely addressing these challenging emotions, we open the door to healthier coping mechanisms, fortifying our resilience and setting the stage for emotional well-being. The journey might not be a cakewalk, but it promises a profound sense of self-discovery and an improved understanding of our emotional reactions. Healing, in any capacity, is a challenge with a meaningful life-long reward.
  • What is generational trauma?
    Generational trauma encompasses a wide spectrum, extending from severe physical and psychological harm to more subtle forms of distress, often termed "small t trauma." Such trauma may manifest through inherited societal norms implying that adults possess all the answers and younger voices are secondary or being forced into a life path that holds no personal interest. The majority of generational trauma originates from the transmission of harmful or dysfunctional societal norms and systems. These systems often inhibit authentic self-expression and self-acceptance, subsequently giving rise to intense emotions. If these emotions are not addressed, they can evolve into anger, depression, abuse, or projections. Here are a few indicators you may be suffering from generational trauma: Recurring feelings of sadness or depression Anxiety and panic attacks Persistent fear, distress, and feelings of danger Difficulty forming and maintaining relationships Low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness Substance abuse as a means of coping Unexplained physical ailments Persistent nightmares or flashbacks Difficulty managing and expressing emotions Inability to trust others and form secure attachments Difficulty setting and achieving goals Self-harm behaviors or thoughts of suicide
  • What does working with you look like?
    A casual conversation is the first step towards building a supportive partnership. It allows us to sit down and have an open discussion to see if there is alignment with each other's values. I understand the importance of connecting with someone who truly understands your family life and your goals for your children. If we feel that we share a connection, we can schedule a more in-depth conversation to delve into your personal experiences that have shaped you as an individual and a parent (or soon-to-be parent), the aspirations you have for your child, the motivations behind those aspirations, and discuss any potential challenges that may arise while parenting. My mission is to serve you and your family by listening to your wants and needs and not allowing my personal opinions to get in the way. However, I will also use wise discernment to offer advice on potential blind spots, unconscious biases, or any approaches that may lead to a counterproductive outcome.
  • What are your qualifications to advise parents on overcoming toxic habits and healing trauma?
    With a foundation deeply rooted in both academic understanding and profound personal growth from my own experiences of childhood challenges, I bring a unique blend of knowledge and soulful insight to parent coaching. My methodology transcends traditional educational theories and delves into the compassionate examination of each child's holistic wellness. By drawing on concepts from epigenetics, cultural systems, and intergenerational trends, I aim to highlight critical yet often neglected elements that are vital to nurturing a strong, healthy bond between parents and their children. My dedication lies in fostering a conscious parenting style that elevates the well-being and awareness of every child. With more than 15,000 hours of immersive, real-world experience in a variety of educational and therapeutic environments, including child development centers, public education institutions, direct parent coaching, personal healing, and individual transformation, my practice is far more than academic. It is enriched by my own path to healing and a comprehensive understanding of family dynamics. This unique combination of professional study in early childhood education and psychology, paired with my personal experiences, equips me to empathize with and effectively support the intricate task of guiding young individuals. Through my work, I am committed to uncovering and reshaping familial patterns, deepening the parent-child connection, and advocating for a conscious way of living that elevates families as a whole.
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Heal, Learn, and Grow Together!

Join our Parenting and Expecting Parent Circle to connect, share experiences, grow, and heal with other parents (and parents-to-be) who can relate to what you have went through and are going through.

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Empowered to Nurture.

Clearly, you want the best for your child(ren), or you wouldn't be here. It is not just that there are no definitive guides on how to be a good parent; there are also many harmful parenting practices that have been accepted as normal for many years. This can leave one with a lot to deal with, including any emotional wounds passed down from previous generations, including toxic social norms.

It's time to stop measuring yourself and what a "good" parent looks like by society's standards. They're broken! Instead, together, we will create your own blueprint based on your experiences and upbringing and what you desire for your child.

As we work on your personalized parenting plan, we'll also address any lingering trauma that may hinder your plan's success.

Creating Your Custom Parenting Plan

Imagine parenting as embarking on an adventure. Like any journey, it's helpful to have a map. This map represents your vision and values for your child's future and the bond you share. It's your guide to creating a nurturing environment where your child can thrive. Of course, the road won't always be smooth; you'll encounter bumps, detours, and maybe even a few roadblocks. That's okay! I can help you adjust your strategies to meet your child's evolving needs. Having this flexible yet well-outlined roadmap will help you navigate these changes confidently, ensuring your journey remains joyful and rewarding, even amid challenges.

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Plan Features

Outcome Mapping

Customized Plan

This is a focused, one-hour session where we identify your unique parenting objectives and concerns. We'll clarify your desired outcomes for your child and delve into the reasons behind these aspirations, solidifying your motivation to achieve them.

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Obstacle Assessment

Based on insights from our Outcome Mapping session, I will develop a customized plan for your parenting journey. This plan will guide you on effective communication techniques, emotion and energy management strategies, and tailored parenting methods that align with your aspirations for your child's future. It will also include age-appropriate exercises to foster your child's emotional well-being.

In this one-hour session, we'll take a closer look at any issues that may pose challenges to implementing your parenting plan. Together, we'll strategize ways to circumvent these obstacles or conquer them head-on.

Family Communication and Boundary Strategy Session

Ongoing Coaching Support

These bi-weekly or monthly coaching sessions are designed to provide continued support as you navigate through your parenting journey. We'll address any residual trauma that might hinder your ability to carry out your plan and cater to both your child's and your own well-being.

I will guide you in formulating a strategy to assertively communicate your boundaries with family members and manage your emotions effectively throughout the process. Recognizing that we can't control others' reactions, our focus will be on delivering a compassionate yet firm dialogue. Regardless of the result, you'll leave with the reassurance that you've upheld your boundaries with unwavering resolve.

Evolving Parenting Blueprint

As your child grows and evolves, so too should your parenting strategies. I will provide an updated plan, reflective of your initial vision and mission, that adapts to your child's changing age, developmental stage, and unique personality.

Whether you're ready to being or you still have questions. 


Charlotte, NC

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